In Lieu of Separation
by Cathrine Schmid
 
Fill out this packet
Make sure you check “Voluntary Retirement” in block 8
Involuntary is for those who have done something wrong
 
Attach your initial enlistment contract
Try to ignore the name on it
We just use it to verify your information
It won’t end up on your certificate
Probably
 
To ensure proper routing
Put your supervisor’s email in the request
And your commander's
The ones who said that you didn’t need to worry
That they’d stand up for you
 
Go to these classes
They’ll help you with your transition
The one to civilian life
Not the other one
We don’t talk about the other one
 
On page 5 the book says “diversity”
Cross it out
And on page 12 too, where it says “inclusion”
It's inconsistent with our priorities
 
Send the notes for your award to your leaders
The award is important
You should be recognized for the things you did
20 years is an accomplishment
 
Submit your medical records with your diagnosis
Again
Even though we’ve had them since the day you came out
Make a medical appointment
So your doctor can verify it
It’s mandatory
So that we can be sure you were one of the ones whose care was too disruptive
 
Sign over your gear
Rifle, gas mask, computer
Your uniforms you can keep
Don’t wear them though
You’ll be in violation

Don’t speak on behalf of the Army
Now that you’re almost not Army
The truth could be misinterpreted
as a critique

There’s a section on “Post-Service Conduct”
Lined up next to “Army Values”
You’ll be expected to uphold both
If you can

Your final counseling is scheduled
between two field exercises
And after lunch
Your supervisor will ask if you’ve thought about suicide
If you say no, she won’t push it

At the VA screening
The intake counselor will ask about your sex
No, your birth sex
On your original birth certificate
They’ll ask about medication
When you say “hormones”
They’ll remind you that some treatments won’t be covered

“Just so you know”
In case you weren’t sure
The flag they’ll fold for you isn’t political
The certificate will come in scroll font
With your legal name
Probably

They’ll cite readiness
And quote cohesion
And recommend resilience
And put you on leave

They’ll tell you they’re your family
And that you won’t be forgotten
And take your name off the roster

It’s over
And it isn’t
Not for you
Not for the ones behind you
Filling out their packets

Being told to check
“Involuntary” in block 8

​Cathrine Schmid is a Sergeant First Class in the US Army. She is a Signals Intelligence Analyst with twenty years of service. She earned the Sergeant Audie Murphy Award, one of the most prestigious honors for an Army NCO. She planned to serve for many more years. 

The views expressed are personal and do not reflect the official guidance or position of the United States Government or the Department of Defense.