Breaking The Silence
Last year, I lost an airman to suicide. Two weeks ago, we lost a Coast Guardsman. Four years ago, I almost became a statistic.
Each of these were the direct result of societal and institutional transphobia.
Let’s talk about how transphobia impacts women’s ability to serve in the military.
Transphobia doesn’t just harm trans people. It harms everyone. Cis women have been attacked, arrested, or even fired just for seeming like they might be trans[1][2] while trans men have been assaulted and arrested for following the rules [3].
Now, imagine being a woman in uniform during a trans ban, accused of being trans for not fitting a stereotype: for being too manly, too butch, too tall, too muscular. Now add that to everything else women already face in service.
In sports, they say it’s to “protect the kids,” but bans open the door to surveillance, suspicion, and punishment of any girl who doesn’t conform to typical norms.
“But my <belief system> says X, Y, and Z about trans and queer people.” If your belief system excuses or enables harm to ANYONE, it is provably wrong. Full stop.
I spent 20 years in the Pentecostal church where I was taught to “love like Christ” (no qualifiers) all while watching my family and churchgoers treat others like garbage. I was indoctrinated and told my feelings were wrong, the feeling that *I* was wrong. I can’t count the panic attacks I had as a child because I thought the rapture came and left me behind. Picture your 8-year-old child, hands shaking, heart racing, desperately trying to call you, terrified they’re going to hell.
I left the church, but I kept the good they taught me: love everyone, do good, and help your fellow people. I haven’t talked to my family in months. The last time I did, my Christian dad cursed me out for calling out his bigotry. This isn’t the first time I’ve cut them off for my peace, but it will probably be the last.
We cannot fall victim to the “tolerance paradox”. A tolerant society CANNOT tolerate intolerance or accommodate views that actively cause harm. I will NOT engage in “reasonable debate” regarding human rights with those who would rather see me and my friends dead.
Human rights are not up for debate.
Women’s rights are human rights.
Trans rights are human rights.
And silence is complicity.
I'm done being quiet.
[1] https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/01/24/lauren-boebert-sarah-mcbride/
[2] https://www.newsweek.com/woman-says-she-was-fired-after-threats-man-who-made-trans-accusation-2051777
[3] https://www.newsweek.com/trans-man-attacked-using-womens-restroom-ohio-1723432
Each of these were the direct result of societal and institutional transphobia.
Let’s talk about how transphobia impacts women’s ability to serve in the military.
Transphobia doesn’t just harm trans people. It harms everyone. Cis women have been attacked, arrested, or even fired just for seeming like they might be trans[1][2] while trans men have been assaulted and arrested for following the rules [3].
Now, imagine being a woman in uniform during a trans ban, accused of being trans for not fitting a stereotype: for being too manly, too butch, too tall, too muscular. Now add that to everything else women already face in service.
In sports, they say it’s to “protect the kids,” but bans open the door to surveillance, suspicion, and punishment of any girl who doesn’t conform to typical norms.
“But my <belief system> says X, Y, and Z about trans and queer people.” If your belief system excuses or enables harm to ANYONE, it is provably wrong. Full stop.
I spent 20 years in the Pentecostal church where I was taught to “love like Christ” (no qualifiers) all while watching my family and churchgoers treat others like garbage. I was indoctrinated and told my feelings were wrong, the feeling that *I* was wrong. I can’t count the panic attacks I had as a child because I thought the rapture came and left me behind. Picture your 8-year-old child, hands shaking, heart racing, desperately trying to call you, terrified they’re going to hell.
I left the church, but I kept the good they taught me: love everyone, do good, and help your fellow people. I haven’t talked to my family in months. The last time I did, my Christian dad cursed me out for calling out his bigotry. This isn’t the first time I’ve cut them off for my peace, but it will probably be the last.
We cannot fall victim to the “tolerance paradox”. A tolerant society CANNOT tolerate intolerance or accommodate views that actively cause harm. I will NOT engage in “reasonable debate” regarding human rights with those who would rather see me and my friends dead.
Human rights are not up for debate.
Women’s rights are human rights.
Trans rights are human rights.
And silence is complicity.
I'm done being quiet.
[1] https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/01/24/lauren-boebert-sarah-mcbride/
[2] https://www.newsweek.com/woman-says-she-was-fired-after-threats-man-who-made-trans-accusation-2051777
[3] https://www.newsweek.com/trans-man-attacked-using-womens-restroom-ohio-1723432