This Was My Plan B
FCASN Adam Reed
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I honestly don't know what I'm going to do if (when) I get kicked out.
The more I've been thinking about the situation, the more I realize, I have nothing on the outside. I have family that's sympathetic, but sympathy doesn't put a roof over your head or food on the table. More importantly, it doesn't give you the needed job experience in today's greedy corporate job market where "entry" level means a Bachelor's degree and 3+ years of experience. I know overall I'm going to be fine. I have, at the moment, a place to stay until I figure things out should it come to that. And I am thankful for that. But I don't have much else. This WAS my Plan B. I've wanted to join the military since I was 14 when I saw "Surviving the Cut" on Discovery Channel. When I saw the pride Agent Gibbs had in his USMC heritage. When I understood that you end up doing it for the man next to you after watching Black Hawk Down. I attended military school with all the intention of becoming an officer on a nuclear submarine. However, suppressing my feelings of transsexualism came to a head, and I had to drop out. I came very close to joining again in 2017, until a week later when that tweet came out about how people like me are unfit to serve. Back to the grind I went. Then, presidency changed hands, and I took my shot. I thought God was allowing me to fulfill this dream after all. I'm not so sure anymore. It all seems so... pointless now. The fact that I can score a perfect ASVAB score, graduate top of my A School class, have no significant legal issues on my record, yet still be considered "unqualified" is astounding to me. I don't wanna leave. As frustrating as it is sometimes, I like being here. I like learning what I'm learning. I like the idea of defending my country. Now? I'm very close to being given the boot with little more than an "orders are orders" mentality. I don't even get separation pay since I've been in less than 6 years. I guess your service doesn't mean anything if it's only one contract. All the time, training, and money they sunk into me to get me to the level I am: gone. Because people who've never met me believe me to be incapable of doing a good job. Worse, they see me as a threat. That somehow, people like me are solely responsible for the disintegration of military standards. Never mind the divorce rates. Never mind the DUIs and disorderly conducts. Never mind the sexual assault cases. No. Someone like me. And I'm just expected to live with that accusation. |
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